My oldest started kindergarten last week. She goes to a year-round school, so our summer break was shorter than I had anticipated her last summer before starting school. Nevertheless, time waits for no one, and I am once again reminded that it goes faster than I wish it would.
I did not feel ready for this new chapter. I told a friend, whose firstborn also starts kindergarten this year, that “I’ve never felt more dramatic about anything, ever.” Hyperbole? Maybe a little. But after staying home with my daughter for almost five years, I have a lot of feelings about her going to school.
I’ve had a lot of time to reflect since she started school and these are some reminders I wanted to write down (mostly for myself) as we enter this new season. If you’re in a similar situation, perhaps these reflections will help you, too.
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My kids, ultimately, do not belong to me. They belong to the Lord, who loves them perfectly and loves them more than I do. I can trust Him with their lives.
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Related, my kids’ safety is not directly related to my presence with them. It is our responsibility to care for, provide, and protect them, but that’s not the same thing as helicopter-parenting them.
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Also related, my kids’ independence is our ultimate goal—that they would be like “arrows in the hands of a warrior.” (Psalm 127:4) I don’t want to keep them at home with me forever, but I’m thankful that life works in such a way that we can take baby steps towards their independence.
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What reality looks like today can change. This could mean God unexpectedly calling us to do something differently or it can mean us prayerfully seeking a change. Either way, I can’t predict the future but can live in faithful obedience to do what God has lead us to do now.
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I can expect to feel a bit of grief at the start of any new chapter of life. The grief is usually over how quickly time passes and the loss of all the things I enjoyed about the previous season. The trick is maintaining joy in the shift. Grief and joy are not mutually exclusive. We have a lot to be grateful for and a lot to look forward to in this new season.
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My kids are not worried about the things I am worried about for them—and I don’t need to suggest to them that they should be.
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Five years at home with my daughter went by way faster than I ever realized they would. It’s yet another reminder to enjoy the present to the best of my ability.
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I’m grateful my daughter is starting school with several years of biblical foundation built under her. Ultimately the Lord is sovereign over her salvation, and our practice of spiritual disciplines does not guarantee that she will walk with the Lord all of her days. However, it certainly doesn’t hurt and I’m thankful we started these practices early. My prayer is that as she encounters ideas and people at school that challenge her worldview, what we’ve spent so much time teaching her at home will become the filter through which she thinks about everything else.
