For years, I have spent the week between Christmas and New Year’s planning out my resolutions and goals for the year to come. Several years ago, I shifted from making resolutions to the more gradual approach to habit formation. I wasn’t having much success attaining my resolutions (shocker), and I found some success in shifting my perspective towards building in a system of good habits.
Then last year, I shifted back towards setting goals in hopes that my work toward building habits had provided a solid foundation to achieving a list of goals. Somewhere in the clutter jungle I call a home office there is that two-page list of goals and action steps I wrote down at the end of 2023.
I had high aspirations for 2024. I wanted to enjoy my kids more, pitch a new book idea, find a whole bunch of new grants for my school, get better at task management, read 12 books (yes, only 12) and about 10 other things.
While I managed to achieve some of my goals, I didn’t do so the way I had planned. I also didn’t accomplish most of what I set out to accomplish. What did happen, however, was way more important. I had been missing something in my quest for a better New Year, but in 2024, I was on my way to discovering the missing pieces.
Reflecting on 2024
Despite my failure to reach most of my 2024 goals, by God’s grace, I learned two lessons that set in motion some change that needed to take place in my own heart and mind. This transformation has happened gradually, and these are lessons I will have to continue learning in the years to come.
However, I found 2024 to be somewhat of a turning point in how I think about goals, habit formation, productivity, and life in general. The lessons I learned informed the way I about goals and habits and changed the way I spent the last week of 2024. Apart from choosing a new Bible reading plan for 2025, I effectively ditched my New Year’s planning altogether.
The two lessons are this:
- First, heart change must come before true habit change.
- Second, circumstances are never static and will always affect our habits and goals.
It may seem obvious, but these lessons finally sunk into my heart and mind in ways I had not allowed them to before. And if you’ll indulge me, I’ll try to explain how over the course of two or three articles.
Heart Change before Habit Change
I have a task problem. In my flesh, I believe than any negative circumstance, emotion, or problem can be solved by drowning myself in a miles-long to-do list. Left unchecked, I define a day’s success by how many tasks are crossed off in the notebook where I keep them. I find so much of my identity in my achievements, even if the achievement is just finishing laundry.
I know what Scripture says–that my truest and deepest problem has been solved through Christ’s work on the cross, reconciling me to God and that He alone is my true rest. My identity rests in who God says I am.
But my flesh isn’t inclined to believe that some days. On those days, I’ll hamster-wheel myself to exhaustion in endless tasks trying to find relief from the pressure I feel to accomplish something, anything.
This is why setting goals that come with 10 tasks each can become problematic. I neglect to recognize my lack of control, the inevitable interruptions, the unpredictability that is this life. Or, even if the day goes exactly as planned, I become paralyzed by the sheer volume of work required to achieve a Big Goal and it only exacerbates the anxiety I am prone to feel.
What the Lord, along with my dear husband, have been trying to get me to see for years is that my heart must change before my habits can truly change, before I can accomplish any goals, before I can truly steward my days in a way that honors God. Before I can sit down to my agenda, I must have a heart that desires to steward the day well– and the mere checking off of tasks does not necessarily mean I’ve been a good steward of my time.
Most of all, even the best productivity tools do not alone produce a mature Christian who trusts in the Lord for daily provision. It does not allow for the Lord to direct–or heaven forbid, interrupt–my plans for the day or my goals for the year. Spiraling into meaningless productivity does not produce rest.
First, my heart must change. And yes, that comes through the good habits we call spiritual disciplines. My problem is that I have always treated spiritual disciplines like a task! Check it off, move on. I hadn’t made much room for God’s word and prayer to truly change my heart.
Towards the end of 2024, that began to change. In the Lord’s strength and with accountability, I started fighting my flesh more consistently. My heart softened to the changing power of God’s word and my prayer life became more fruitful. I’m not doing this perfectly by any stretch, but I believe the Lord strengthened me over the last year in ways I have not been strong before.
The long list of tasks is ever-present, but slowly, it’s bothering me less. I am more at rest and more content because I’m less-frequently seeking rest and contentment in my productivity. Ironically, getting my heart right with the Lord has positively affected my productivity. Turns out when I’m not frantically trying to finish as many tasks as I can cram into one day, I’m actually more purposeful and productive during my day–all without lashing out at my family or becoming bitter at my workload.
When true heart change takes place, it will trickle down on everything that we do. Our goals, aspirations, and even to-do lists stop being oriented around our own achievements. Our focus shifts to seeking God’s wisdom in all that we aspire to do and His glory becomes our primary motivation. While it’s still hard for me to see how that plays out in all the little things I have to do–like cleaning bathrooms or washing dishes–this is the first step towards realizing what it means to seek God’s will in all aspects of my life.
Tomorrow may be a harder struggle, but I finally have some tools to fight against the temptation to merely achieve. At the end of the day, I know I still have a lot of work to do- the work of sanctification never ends in this life. I will continue struggling with my flesh for the rest of my days, but I have seen the Lord’s power to change me and reflect in gratitude on His faithfulness to do so over the last several years.
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash
